So You Wanna Love Yourself? Then Stop Ghosting Your Shadow

Loves, lets get real. So you’ve been doing the work, right? You meditate. You journal. You say your affirmations in the mirror. You’ve broken generational curses, cut off toxic exes, and feel like you’ve really come along way on your self-love and healing journey.

But let me ask you something—when was the last time you actually loved the messy, moody, not-so-glowy parts of yourself?

Yeah, I had to check myself on that one, too.

Because for all the healing and high-vibe habits, I realized I was still playing spiritual Mean Girls with the parts of me that weren’t so elevated. My insecurities? Ignored. My occasional pettiness? Buried. My unhinged moments? Super shamed.

I wasn’t healing—I was curating. Creating some flawless, ethereal, incense-burning, always-wise version of myself who had officially ascended past the bullshit. I had unknowingly fallen into the trap of spiritual perfectionism, and let me tell you—it's a trap!

Newsflash: You’re Not Here to Be Perfect, You’re Here to Be Whole.

Healing isn’t about becoming some Zen master who never gets triggered. It’s about learning to sit with your whole self—even the parts that don’t look good in a “soft girl era” Instagram post.

Your shadow—the jealous, scared, anxious, messy, f*cked up parts—she is still you. And she’s been knocking on your door, waiting for you to stop pretending she doesn’t exist.

You know what happens when you ghost your shadow? She throws tantrums. She sabotages your best intentions. She shows up as that version of you who texts your ex at 2 AM or spirals into self-doubt when you should be running the damn world.

So instead of shoving her into some emotional storage unit, try loving her.

How to Actually Love the Messy Parts of You (Without Losing Yourself & Your Mind!)

1. Stop Shaming Yourself for Being Human

Listen, I don’t care how many guided meditations you do—you’re still gonna have moments where you’re reactive, insecure, or just not in the mood to be enlightened. That’s normal. Let yourself feel without the self-help guilt trip.

2. Talk to Your Shadow Like She’s Your Best Friend (Not Your Worst Critic)

If your best friend called you crying, you wouldn’t say, “Ugh, just be grateful and high-vibe your way out of it.” No, you’d listen, hold space, and have compassion for her. Try doing the same for yourself.

3. Let Your Feelings Be Messy Without Letting Them Drive the Car

Loving your shadow doesn’t mean she gets to take the wheel and crash your life into a wall. It means hearing her out, giving her space to breathe, and then making a conscious choice on how to respond. Feel, but don’t self-destruct.

4. Own the Duality of Who You Are

You can be a healer and still need healing. You can be powerful and still have moments of doubt. You can be wise and still send that “one last text” you know you shouldn’t. That’s called being human. Welcome.

5. Drop the Spiritual Perfection Act

You’re not a saint. You’re not a guru on a mountaintop. You’re a woman living her life, doing her best, and sometimes eating an entire pint of ice cream in bed. Healing isn’t about becoming untouchable—it’s about becoming real and expressing your authentic self.

The Real Flex? Loving Yourself Exactly As You Are

So, my love, if you’ve been waiting to feel “fully healed” before you give yourself permission to feel worthy—consider this your wake-up call. You don’t need to be perfect to be lovable. 

You don’t need to “fix” yourself to deserve softness, success, or second chances.

You just need to show up for yourself—light and shadow, messy and magical, fierce and fragile.

Because the moment you stop running from yourself? That’s the moment you actually become free.

Now go be the whole brilliant shiny damn masterpiece you were born to be. Shadow self included.

XOXO

K

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Karey Welch

Founder Loveworld333

Self-love hype girl

Certified Aura-Soma® Practitioner