We all hear the term "self-love" ... but how exactly do you get started loving yourself....?

This was me years ago, I conceptually understood the term "self-love" but I didn’t know how to start. I mean how do you just suddenly start loving yourself if you’ve been living in a mental prison of self-criticism, guilt and shame? I knew that I need to love myself, I knew I wanted to love myself, but I just had zero clue where to start. So I'm sharing helpful tips that helped me and I hope will help you, if you are starting to take the steps toward self-discovery and self-love.

Remember, unconditionally loving yourself doesn’t happen overnight. This is a process and a continuing practice so be patient with yourself.

#1 My first step in learning to love myself was to start being honest with myself. I took a pause and took inventory of my life. I knew before I could make any real changes, I needed to be truthful with myself about where I was and what kind of lifestyle I was living, including; my habits, the people I was surrounding myself with, relationships, my internal thoughts and feelings, my self-limiting beliefs, all of it. Once I was honest with myself, I could then make a plan of where I felt I needed to make some changes, redirections and upgrades.

Some questions that I asked myself were:

Was I living a life that my future self would be proud of?

Did I embody a routine and healthy practices of someone that I admire?

Would I speak to my best friend or someone who I love the same way I'm currently speaking to myself?

Do I trust and am I proud of the relationship choices that I am making?

Give yourself as much time as you need in this part of the journey, taking self-inventory is brave! It takes time, patience and compassion to be fully honest with yourself, but once you do, it's FREEDOM!

#2 The next thing I did was to start practicing forgiveness. Forgiving myself and others. Grudges hold energy and that negative energy can get stuck in your body, it holds you back mentally, physically, and spiritually. We are all here trying to do our best to navigate earth school and we can all use some forgiveness along the way. I realized how much anger and resentment I was holding onto especially for myself and it was making me feel stuck and stagnant. So start here, start with yourself and then keep adding forgiving others to the list. Once you get this down, you’ll start free flowing in forgiveness. Remind yourself that nothing anyone does is personal It’s just coming from their own pain and perceptions.

#3 After I took inventory, and started forgiving myself, my next step on learning to love myself was to to let go of alcohol. While drinking felt like a way to relax; the day after drinking for me was an exhausting mental battle. My hangovers left my brain foggy, I was anxious, on edge and easily irritated. And drinking alcohol, even if only a few glasses, disrupted my sleep patterns miserably. Even though I wasn’t drinking daily it was still majorly clouding my ability to get honest with myself. It was numbing me out. I knew that I needed to tell myself truths and drinking alcohol made it too easy to look away and not make big changes. Even if it’s a 30, 60 or 90 day break, I really believe letting go of alcohol is very beneficial when you’re trying to make any big life decisions or transformations. You’ll be making then from a clear state of mind and an improved mindset. Not to mention your skin will be glowing, your sleep so much better, the list of benefits goes on....

#4 Another powerful step was to let go of the comparison trap. The comparison game had been something I had battled for so long. I was always comparing myself to others whether on-line or real life, and that comparison game was making me miserable. We’ve heard the saying “comparison is the thief of joy” and It’s so true. We have to remember that we are all here on our very own unique life journey, and we are each here to learn different lessons to pave our own paths. When I would compare myself, I would get lost in a rabbit hole that would leave me feeling empty and sad. Traditional society sells us that we need to get married, buy a home, have children, have the successful career, etc. We're sold and told that if we follow these traditional timelines, we will be fulfilled and as it turns out that's just a BIG lie. I followed all of this rhetoric to a tee, and none of it could provide me a consistent source of joy and fulfillment, because I was still lacking self-love. Once I started focusing and caring more about how my life felt rather than how it looked to others, the veil of restriction and misery started to lift. Letting go of comparison and living life on my very own timeline and terms set me free!

These are just a few of the the many steps I took to start learning to love myself. I hope you find them helpful on your journey to self-love.

Follow me on social and join our self-love community. 💗

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/theloveworld333/

Tik Tok

https://www.tiktok.com/@loveworld333

And download my free empowering mindset resource guide for additional self-love tools and resources.

DOWNLOAD NOW

All the peace & love

XOXO